(Source: shitdisco, via pleatedjeans)
New campaign by Expedia uses airport code tags as copy.
this really is painfully brilliant
via Diplo
Man’s swollen body found in Ystad, Sweden after he attempted intercourse with nest.
presented without further commentary
roses are red
violets are blue
sunflowers are yellow
i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts
(Source: mrcraabs, via andrealessi)
I would like to take a moment to talk about Yaniv, because I have been playing this game nonstop for about a year and from what I understand of the process addicts are supposed to publicly talk about their addictions.
someone on the ILX iPhone game thread brought this game up a while back and I’ve basically been playing it to the exclusion of everything else since (although Ridiculous Fishing has been making some inroads lately). as you can tell from the screenshot above, it’s a card game. here’s how it works (I am about to explain how a card game works, so if you don’t care about that shit skip past the bullet points):
- at the beginning of the game, three players get five cards and one is turned over from the remaining deck.
- players take turns trading in cards from their hand for either cards from the deck or the turned-over card.
- in addition to a single card, players can also discard doubles (or triples, or etc.) or straight flushes of three cards or longer (e.g. the three-four-five of clubs).
- if you draw a card that matches the one you just laid down, you can “slapdown” the card you just drew - if you do it within like two seconds.
- the goal of the game is to reduce your hand until it’s worth seven points or less. face cards count as 10 points; aces only count as 1.
- there are also Jokers, which function as wild cards and count as zero points.
- when you reach 7 points or less, you can call “YANIV” (which the game does for you in a random voice when you press the button). if none of the other players have a hand of equal or lesser value, then you win the round, meaning you get zero points added to your overall score. when your overall score exceeds 200, you’re out of the game.
- if one of the other players DOES have a hand of equal or lesser value, however, they scream “ASSAF”, and you get the full value of your hand PLUS thirty points added to your score.
- finally, if you hit 100 points or 200 points exactly, the game gives you a break and drops 50 points off your score (i.e. to 50 or 150).
JAMES SERIOUSLY WHO GIVES A SHIT
ME GODDAMMIT. it works SO much better in practice than it does in writing; I can only hope that the effect of the above pedantry was to make you buy the game in the hopes of making me shut up somehow. because seriously, once you internalize this game - once it becomes as instinctual as Temple Run (and it will) - you will lose your life to it. you will cultivate personalities around the various avatars the game makes up, and you will grow to hate them as they steal victories by pulling miraculous 200-Breaks out of their goddamn ASS over and over and over again. you will start commenting on games to yourself, noting the swings in fortune with pure Marv Albertian glee. and you WILL say the phrase “Motherfucking Yotam” more times than you ever have in your life, I can 100% guarantee you that (unless you know someone named Yotam IRL and he/she happens to suck pronouncedly).
or you can go online and play actual people, although as with all things I fail whenever people get involved. whatever. really the singleplayer is engrossing enough to justify your purchase. it is a solipsist’s dream: an empty theater where your blood rivals are always waiting to take you on at some stupid card game which just happens to function with the effortless beauty of math.
seriously, it doesn’t even cost anything, go get it.
the best thing about working with other dorks is occasionally getting to explain shit like the Tommy Westphall Alternate Universe. my favorite ones were at my last gig I got to explain both Mr. Hands (and no I’m not linking to THAT explanation) and Pastebin to a totally fascinated CD at, well, let’s just say a very very very good creative agency. one of life’s little gifts, I guess.
Holy Ghost! throw their hat in the ring for summer jam of 2013. this is as good as Get Lucky, although not as good as a couple of other songs on Random Access Memories.
"A decade ago, the American retailer Target sent promotional baby-care vouchers to a teenage girl in Minneapolis. Her father was so outraged, he went to the shop to complain. The manager was equally taken aback and apologised; a few days later, he called the family to apologise again. This time, it was the father who offered an apology: his daughter really was pregnant, and Target’s ‘predictive analytics’ system knew it before he did."
—
EXCELLENT ARTICLE ALERT
The Potoo - Either the most unphotogenic or the most ridiculous looking bird in the world.
w
THESE FUCKING THINGS
reminds me of
(Source: iwasteyourprecioustime, via walrusbeard)
yes to this in every way the word “yes” could ever be meant
(via catmemes)
there’s also a rip of the stream going around for those of you who are more inclined to listen to thangz on your personal-audio device
oh and don’t forget to BUY THE GODDAMN ALBUM
(Source: rollingstone)
